Tori Spellings rack is expired & recalled but she fears losing her implants
Our photo agencies keep catching Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott outside of massage parlors. That’s an expensive habit. These two are supposed to be broke, but Tori refuses to change her spending habits. I feel sorry for the poor masseuses who have to deal with these two fakedy fakers.
More tales of woe are spilling forth from True Tori. The last we heard, Dean was quitting the show after this season. He’s tired of being villified and set up for false-alarm vasectomies. Tori still has more tricks up her shirt. She’s already shown us her storage vaults of junk that she can’t throw away. Now she’s dealing with a different sort of expired good: Her breast implants. Tori says her pair should have been removed 15 years ago. She visited a plastic surgeon who said she has stage-3 hardening, and “it’s almost as bad as it could get.” Tori worries that losing her implants would make her less attractive to Dean:
Tori: “How are you going to feel about me having flaps there?”
Dean: “I’m all for taking a boob break. Your body needs a break.”
Tori: “Why don’t we put them in a glass dome and I could that on a wall next to my first bouquet from my marriage?”
Dean: “Things are expired, going to recall.”
Tori: “My boobs. They’re expired and recalled.”
[Later …]
Tori: “If someone had said to me when I was 20 years old, ”by the way, every 10 to 15 years you’re going to need to get these suckers replaced” I wouldn’t have done it I have the biggest fear of going under for surgery. I’m so scared of being put to sleep. Now I’m all riled up, I just want to stick a knife in there and cut them out myself.”
[From Lifetime – True Tori]
If Tori’s implants are truly “expired” by 15 years, she’s lucky they didn’t burst or leak. Do they really have to be replaced on a regular basis? Tori’s implants were probably a very early version, but the math doesn’t make sense. She got implants when she was 20. Tori is 41 now. There’s no way these puppies are 15 years overdue for replacement. Tori exaggerates everything, so it’s hard to take her seriously.
Tori and Dean also visited Dr. Oz a few days ago. Tori says her recent hospital visit was “rock bottom” because her kids “weren’t even fazed by me being in the hospital. They’re used to it.”
Hollywood Life has details from the next episode of True Tori. Dean drops a pumpkin on little Hattie’s head. These two, I swear.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & Lifetime
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